Natalie

We had our "next steps" appointment with our RE (reproductive endocrinologist - a fancy term for infertility OBGYN) Dr. G last Thursday. After reviewing our lab work and files again reconfirming the "you need IVF" diagnosis, we were advised to start birth control - Sprintec to be exact - and that my IVF coordinator would be calling to schedule the classes (I believe one is injections and one is an overview of the IVF process) and to get our treatment calendar.

We are approved for our med loan ($11,000 - not including the $3,000 we'll need for meds) and have been advised to let the financial coordinator know by April 28th whether or not we are going to cycle in May. The hubby, "S" went in for some updated blood work after work on Friday, and we're just waiting to get those in before moving forward with our calendar/classes. Our coordinator also mentioned scheduling my baseline ultrasound and an updated HSG (an x-ray where they insert a catheter into your uterus, shoot some saline solution inside, and get an idea if your tubes are blocked or if there's anything funky going on with your uterus). Mine was normal last time, so i'm praying that i've only improved.

I'm anxious to hear back, because 4/28 is quickly approaching and I don't think we'd be doing all these steps if we weren't cycling in May. My cousin, L, generously offered to come with me to this appointment. I will more than likely take her up on this offer. I always need a second set of ears at these things; or maybe I should invest in a recorder? :)

Natalie

When we received the husband's most recent analysis, noting little to no improvement in the motility category, I think I knew that minute what we needed to do. It was something that we had been fighting, that we had been saying over and over "it's not for us." However, I knew that in the end, i'd be lying to myself if I didn't think I wasn't going to try every possible means to reach my goal of parenthood.

Funny enough, when we decided over breakfast, OK we're for sure moving forward with this, I think we both felt an immense relief. For me, I think a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. IVF has always been a "last resort," "down the line," "later", "maybe when we're 30" thought for us; but, here it was facing us right now.

The many trepidations I have with IVF are still a concern, but they're something i'm willing to risk. I keep reminding myself,  "Whatever it takes!"

And, as I sit facing my third nightly dose of birth control pill, I think it's a bit ironic. Sure, i'm worried. Just a month ago I swore over and over that I would NEVER EVER go on the birth control pill again. I was convinced it's what brought on my PCOS (though all my doctors scoff at the idea when I bring it up). I was going to do this the hippy dippy, natural, less invasive, holistic way. Who knows if my ovaries will shut down when this is all said and done, and I'll need another month's worth of acupuncture sessions to jump start their productivity? But - it's a risk i'm willing to take. Seeing the progress i've made, and that I know I can do on my own, without hormones, I have faith that I will be able to restore to my "old self" after IVF (and hopefully childbirth) is over.

Main Concerns:

OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome - not fun)

Wasting 11,000 and ending up with no embryos

Wasting 11,000 ending up pregnant, and miscarrying

Wasting 11,000 ending up not getting pregnant

Debt

Alas, time is of the essence when it comes to my reproductive organs, and i'm ready to be done.

Natalie