Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
ivf acupuncture infertility

My first introduction to acupuncture was at my dentist's office of all places. I found a holistic dentist I was really excited about visiting - finally it wasn't so much of a dreaded chore. She gave me a warm fuzzy blanket to keep me comfortable and asked if I wanted acupuncture. She quickly placed a needle  on web in between my thumb and pointer finger. She said it helps to relax and calm the nerves of patients.

She went on to ask if any of my health history had changed. I mentioned that we were going through fertility treatments (at that time I think I had done our third round of Clomid). She asked what I'd been doing and I said just hormones. She suggested I give acupuncture a try, and said that a local brother and sister team were "miracle workers." Miracles? I needed one! I picked up a business card for the acupuncture clinic and called the next day.

Before We Decided to Use IVF

When I first walked into the clinic I was a little nervous. I'm a pretty shy person, so meeting new people is always a little difficult for me. (I'm getting better). There was no one at the reception desk, so I looked around at the framed images on the walls, the fish swimming in the tank, and then sat to open up a cookbook. It was a book on food and Chinese medicine. Shortly after, the receptionist - also a sibling - greeted me.

Once the acupuncturist guided me back to the room, I unloaded the details of my health history and infertility. She gave me a list of foods to avoid ("cold") and to eat more of ("warm"). Then, treatment began. One thing she did during every session was put a heat lamp over my belly. Warmth is good apparently. I was told to always wear socks, a sweater at night during the colder months, and to put a heating pad over my lower belly for fifteen minutes a night. I was also given some herbs to take. They were for healing cysts and fibroids. I visited her a few times that week, then twice weekly after that.

At this point, I hadn't had a regular period of my own. Anything that did occur, was medically induced (Provera, Clomid - which didn't even help me to ovulate!). Yet, just two weeks after I began treatment, I had my very first cycle since stopping birth control over a year prior. I was ecstatic. I think this was the first little bit of hope I'd had since we started trying.

My husband was going once a week and also was taking herbs. After about six months, we decided to ask for another analysis. However, he showed no improvement really in motility or morphology. I was stressed again about our plan of action. This is when we decided to stop with acupuncture and move forward with IVF. I just wasn't willing to wait for it to work.

During IVF Treatment

When we first met up with our reproductive endocrinologist, he reviewed my medical history and asked what I had done differently to get my cycles going again. I mentioned acupuncture and he smiled, nodded, and said, "it really works." I was a bit relieved that I hadn't wasted all that time and money. His comment was almost validation that we had chosen the right path.

Our infertility clinic partners with a local acupuncturist who specializes in infertility. The treatment options were quite pricey though. So, we opted not to use acupuncture the first two cycles. After the second one failed, I read up a bit more on the effectivness of acupuncture and IVF. Our clinic's website says, "in one study, the IVF success rate jumped from 25% to 42% using acupuncture the day of embryo transfer." I thought those were pretty successful stats. So, we decided to dish out the extra $500 for acupuncture the day of transfer.

The acupuncturist came in and was very kind. He brought a very calming energy to the room. After transfer, I'm usually instructed to wait in the room laying down for fifteen minutes - always torture when you have a bladder full for the ultrasound! The acupuncturist asked about our infertility journey so far, and started treatment. He said to eat warm foods when I got home and not to forget about the pineapple core (which was also something I'd never paid much attention to before).

I still think that having acupuncture the day of transfer is what helped Atticus "stick." I'm sure there are a ton of things that contribute to a happy outcome, but I know that if/when we decided to do another frozen embryo transfer, I'll be sure to have acupuncture as well. If nothing else, it is very relaxing which is helpful for such a stressful/exciting day.

acupuncture ivf frozen embryo transfer fet
Acupuncture the day of our FET.
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Blogging after infertility is tricky. (Not that I posted nearly as much when I was in the trenches). I resurrected this blog in hopes of providing hope and inspiration for those still fighting the good fight. However, I also want to include bits of my life as a mother. I feel like this could go one of two ways. I can share my life after infertility, and inspire those (not that anyone reads this) who are still trying to conceive - OR - I can stir up feelings of grief, jealousy, anger, etc.

Just a couple of years ago I was a hybrid of the two. Until my last cycle where I did some deep soul-searching, praying, meditating, I was a really bitter infertile. I felt all those horrible feelings of jealousy and anger towards friends and family who got pregnant (or had kids) that were conceived easily or on accident. My aunt excitedly told me the news of a family friend's pregnancy and I rolled my eyes and said, "Good for her." Didn't she know what I was going through? However, family and friends that went through infertility were a different story. I was kind, I kept in touch, I didn't mind being around them or their kids.

If you're reading this and you are still on your infertility journey, please don't see my posts about motherhood as being boastful or hurtful. That's not what I want to do. I want to inspire you to keep moving forward. Wherever you are in your journey. If you just got your period for the millionth time, it's okay to be mad and sad. Grieve, and channel that energy into something positive that will get you to the next step. If you're on a break, don't be stressed about "wasting time" (I felt that way at first!) - treat yo' self! Eat healthy, get a facial, do some interior decor. Do something for you that doesn't involve infertility. 

 Keep hoping. Keep praying. Don't ever give up if you know it's truly what you want. 
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pregnant after infertility, pcos, ivf


Our beautiful baby boy is sleeping great these days. (Knock on wood.) So with the extra time on my hands, I thought I would try (again) to resurrect this blog. Below is a post I wrote but never posted, announcing my pregnancy.

___________________________________________


I'm almost ashamed to write, I had a blog post saved up about how this cycle had failed. I wrote it 6 days past transfer, because I had just gotten a negative home pregnancy test the morning before. I figured, since they were right this time the last two times, it would be the same for this cycle too.

I remained pretty upset. A former coworker announced her pregnancy on Facebook and I woke up sobbing in the middle of the night, having a minor breakdown.

I felt a little better the couple days after that, figuring I'd set up an appointment with a midwife to approach things naturally (I actually emailed her!). I went on with work, feeling mostly angry/disappointed but okay, since this was nothing new.

On Friday, official test day, I took the morning off. I slept in, got up, got ready, and was sort of melancholy. I went to my appointment early. It took me a few minutes to muster up the strength to go inside.

When I gave the nurse my arm she asked if this was my first or second blood draw. I said first. She asked if I'd cheated and tested. I said, "yeah it was negative Monday." She said "Awe maybe it was just too early." In my head i sort of rolled my eyes and said yeah right, i'd heard this before.

Usually, the clinic is fast to call back, an hour or two at most. By noon I still hadn't heard anything. I was getting really nervous as time went on. I tried to do some breathing exercises at my desk as to not  over stress myself. I was even rude to someone on the phone, anticipating a negative test.

I decided to take my lunch and go for a walk. If they called, and i was out of the office, I could feel comfortable crying over bad news. I was crossing the street to go to Macy's when the clinic called. I answered in my melancholy "hi *sigh*" She answered "Have you been waiting by the phone? haha! Well, you know we like to see HCG numbers at least 30 . . . " (I thought, hm usually they open with an "i'm sorry we got your test results back and... "). She proceeded to say, "your beta was 147.5"

I was stunned. Am i hearing this right? I was speechless for about a minute. My mouth was open but I didn't know what to say. I sobbed "are you sure?" She said "I thought it might take a minute for you to process. We want you to come back Tuesday for your second blood draw do you have any questions?" She might have thrown in a congratulations in there, but i was too shocked to remember anything other than go back Tuesday!

Immediately after she hung up I dialed Stephan, quiet but sobbing unable to speak the words... "I am pregnant." He laughed as if he knew the whole time, saying I should listen to him more and stress less.

I then proceeded to call my mom, and my friends, and my aunt, cousin, and brother. Yes it was early but we fought so hard for this pregnancy. Everyone knew what we were going through, and if we suffer a loss, they can support us through that. I was on cloud nine.

I've had some minor spotting which they reassured me is normal, though it's still really really scary. I'm trying not to stress, and trust the process. Take it day by day, and be grateful for the gift growing inside me.

We're Pregnant

by on 9:46 AM
Our beautiful baby boy is sleeping great these days. (Knock on wood.) So with the extra time on my hands, I thought I would try (again...
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Nine more days. Nine more days until my transfer. What should be a somewhat breezy cycle process now that I'm used to the shots, and have done this all before; has turned out to be a bit more difficult than the prior frozen transfer. Be it stress, diet, or a mix of the two; I've been having some rather unpleasant tummy problems the last few weeks. I think it stemmed from the birth control pill they started me on, coming and going as my hormones fluctuate while my meds change. 

Sure I was plagued with an infection, bug, or some other ailment my mind often wanders to, I went to the doctor in hopes of some relief from my IBS-like symptoms. He said "it could be any number of things, I don't think it's anything dangerous, and with your FET cycle, I'm guessing it's something more physiological going on than physical." I left with not really any more knowledge than I already knew. I emailed my IVF nurse to get her take - could it be the meds? She chopped it up to stress. And sent a very reassuring email that almost brought me to tears at my desk. (Hello - one other crazy difference, I've been crying a lot more. I'm not even on progesterone yet!)

Her email read:  More than likely it is the stress of the cycle. Relax. De-stress. We are going to get you pregnant.
I think that night I went home and took a bubble bath. I've been trying hard to up my yoga, but with the comings and goings of tummy troubles, it's often difficult to relax 100%. Alas, the whole de-stress advice is easier said than done. I stress about stressing out messing up my cycle, than I stress about my tummy problems somehow getting in the way of my health and me getting all the nutrients I need, and then I stress some more. It's a vicious cycle. I've been dabbling with a Low Fodmap eating approach - keeping it mostly gluten and dairy free. I think those are my main triggers when I'm sensitive or on edge emotionally.

As I sit at home sipping on my third cup of lemon ginger tea, sick from work, I am realizing how soon our next transfer is. This cycle hasn't gone as planned in terms of my health goals. However, I'm trying to remain positive. In an effort to keep my mind of things, I've done some cleaning/rearranging of furniture at home. Cleaning the house is sort of therapeutic for me. Maybe because a messy, dog fur everywhere, dishes piled up, piles of laundry house stresses me out. I need a clean home to relax.
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I've been getting used to life post IVF/FET. My new job is great. I LOVE it. We even adopted a lovable new lab mix, Joey, who is keeping me busy and active on daily walks. He loves to play fetch and cuddle too! He's a good positive change in our lives, bringing some much needed life and happiness. However, I don't want to get too comfortable. I don't want to lose my drive.


Be it wacky PCOS hormones, or the most recent pregnancy announcements or baby photos on Facebook, I go through bouts of being really unhappy or disappointed with our lives without a child. Infertility. I get mad. I get sad. I become hopeless. After having lunch with my dear cousin one workday, she mentioned she was able to see a therapist at no cost through our work's insurance. (We both work for the State of CA.) My cousin suffered two miscarriages before having her gorgeous baby girl. She said she really thinks it helped her process everything.

So, after a couple of phone calls and a quick Google search, I set up an appointment with a buddhist psychotherapist. I've only been to two sessions so far, and I think it's a good thing. While we don't attack all the emotions I have, he helps guide me to focus on my "narrative." What is going to get me through this? What do I want? How is my story going to end? -- A baby duh!

I've been putting off doing another FET for various reasons: our hippy energy working friend suggesting we don't do another FET, my doubts in our remaining embryos and 27 year old uterus, money, fear, what the meds are doing to my body. It's now or never. I'm only getting older. Time only is getting away from us.

Then a day or so after telling the husband I was ready to try again a former coworker posted on Facebook: "Don't stop because you're tired, stop when you're done." I almost jumped out of my seat. YES. I AM SO FRICKIN TIRED OF INFERTILITY. But am I done? NO way Jose. Even if this FET doesn't work, even if we walk away from our remaining embryos. I'm not done. I don't know what will happen if this doesn't work. Maybe we'll save for an adoption. Maybe we'll live life without kids. Whatever we decide or whatever happens, I want to be okay with our decision. I hope that's where the therapy will help.

Before we jump into the next cycle, I'm trying extra hard to eat really clean and healthy, walk multiple times a day, yoga it up, and remain calm.

Am I Ready?

by on 8:06 PM
I've been getting used to life post IVF/FET. My new job is great. I LOVE it. We even adopted a lovable new lab mix, Joey, who is keeping...
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